Sleepless in Surat: The Secret Streaming Lives of Indian Men
Most men, when asked what they watch alone, puff up their chests like pigeons on steroids and mumble something about “documentaries,” “stock market analysis,” or worse, Ranveer Allahabadia. But the truth, dear reader, like their hairlines, is a bit more fragile.
Because once the house is asleep, the Wi-Fi is strong, and their inner Amitabh takes a break, the modern Indian man morphs into something wildly unpredictable—equal parts secret romantic, part-time philosopher, and full-time cringe connoisseur.
Here’s what they’re actually watching when the world isn’t looking:
1. Sangeet Reels & Wedding Dances – The Closet Choreographer
He will scoff at destination weddings and snort at lehenga prices louder than a buffalo in heat, but alone, he’s practicing the hook step to “Laung Da Lashkara” in his boxers. For “future reference,” of course.
2. K-Dramas (With the Subtitles Turned Off)
“I watch it for the cinematography,” he says, but he’s five episodes deep into Crash Landing On You and now refers to himself as Oppa in his Notes app. His toxic masculinity doesn’t stand a chance against Korean cheekbones and slow-mo confessions in the rain.
3. Grooming Tutorials – Because Looking ‘Effortlessly Rugged’ Takes Effort
He calls it self-maintenance, but even his razor is confused. One day it’s a French beard, the next it’s ‘clean shave to manifest change.’ He secretly knows the difference between retinol and niacinamide. Won’t admit it—but his skin’s been glowing since February.
4. Cooking Reels by “That Guy with the Cast Iron Pan”
He’ll order butter chicken thrice a week but has bookmarked “Top 5 Rasam Hacks” and “How to Get Restaurant-Style Bhindi Without Slime.” He has no plans to cook—but watching is his form of therapy. That and licking the screen when melted cheese stretches.
5. Stand-Up Clips by Women Who Roasted Men Like Him
He’s offended. Deeply. But not enough to stop watching Supriya Joshi describe her ex. “Girls these days are too blunt,” he mutters, while snorting into his T-shirt and secretly agreeing with every punchline.
6. “Unsolved Mysteries” and WhatsApp University Specials
Did Ravana invent WiFi?
Is Sonakshi Sinha the illegitimate child of Reena Roy?
Was Taj Mahal originally a Shiva Temple?
He doesn’t know. But he’s watched 23 videos and one Boom fact-check later, he’s still unsure. But hey—forwarded as received.
7. Home Makeover Shows – Move Over Man Cave, Hello Muji Vibes
He used to be happy with one plastic chair and a mattress. Now he’s comparing wall textures, has opinions on indoor plants, and wonders aloud whether “taupe” is a masculine enough shade. Pinterest has done what centuries of patriarchy could not.
8. Baby Animal Reels – Don’t Tell Anyone, Please
There’s something about a chihuahua in sunglasses or a baby goat in pajamas that just breaks him. He’ll never speak of it. But he watched that puppy trip over its ears six times last night and cried once. Allegedly due to allergies.
In Conclusion?
Indian men, when left to their own devices—quite literally—aren’t just watching cricket highlights or hunting for the next crypto tip. They’re busy moonwalking through gender norms, googling “how to make dal taste like mom’s,” and tearing up at fictional breakups in languages they don’t even speak.
The truth is, the alpha male is slowly being replaced by the aware male—one who may still pretend to hate chick flicks, but has secretly rated Bridgerton a solid 8.5 on IMDb.
So the next time he tells you he’s “not into all that emotional stuff,” hand him the remote and say, “Sure, Da.”
Because beneath that stubble, that swagger, and that suspiciously well-lit selfie—there’s a man just trying to figure out if jade rollers really do reduce puffiness.
And honestly? Don’t you love him more for it?
About the Author:
Dr. Sheetal Nair is a Psychotherapist, Columnist & Author of the bestselling book “21 Shades of Love.” A three-time TEDx speaker and Executive Coach, he’s the kind of man who quotes Rumi while watching Vir Das. When not counselling clients or writing punchy op-eds, he can be found stealing fries off his son’s plate and watching unlikely rom-coms alone in hotel rooms.